originally published at Posh, Broke, & Bored on 14 September, and 1 November, 2010

14 SEPTEMBER 2010/ O MIO BABBINO CARO 

  “I love you,” she whispered, “With all my heart.”

 His reply came swift and simple, “Don’t be absurd.”

 She pretended not to be hurt.

“What do you want me to wear for you?” she trembled.

He didn’t even look up from his Blackberry. “I don’t know. Something white.”

“White like a wedding dress?” 

He set his Blackberry to Silent, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” A pause. “Don’t you want to dress me? Daddy?”

“What?” He finally looked at her, and gasped as though seeing her for the first time. “You’re beautiful.”

Her heart lept. She held her breath as he continued—

“You’re the daughter every man dreams of having.”

—-

1 NOVEMBER 2010/ MY ***T (STILL AND ALWAYS WILL BELONG TO DADDY)

In an earnest* attempt to stop being a little fatherfucker, The Inconsequential Child tries to understand her obsession with Sexy Daddy. She remembers something she read, a sort-of famous writer person called Freud mentioned something about The Oral Stage and sucking being the first pleasure in life. Putting away her lollipop and ADHD for a moment, she wikipedias psychosexual development.
*probably not earnest. The Inconsequential Child is such an inherently untruthful person and so gifted with eloquence that even she is convinced of her own lies.

ACT I- THE ORAL FIXATION

Orally passive. Spoilt, demanding, yet submissive to he who wields the hardest hand, the Inconsequential Child’s habits are smoking, eating, kissing, fellatio. ‘Fixation at this stage may result in passivity, gullibility, immaturity and manipulative personality’ Well you don’t say? Oh you do? Ok, I believe you. But if I find out you were pulling my leg, I’ll cut off your feet.

ACT II- THE ANAL FIXATION

Anal expulsive: reckless, careless, defiant, disorganized, coprophiliac. The last one is a major eew, she thought, but wait—‘An anal expulsive personality is broadly defined as exhibiting cruelty, emotional outbursts, disorganization, self-confidence, artistic ability, generosity, rebelliousness and general carelessness’ It’s like looking into a mirror, she squirms, one that reflects me to be less pretty than i thought.

…and finally,

ACT III- THE PHALLIC FIXATION  

Freud believed that it was natural for female children in this stage to focus on the clitoris as their primary organ for sexual pleasure. She sputtered, recalling the first time she discovered self-pleasure, at the blooming age of 6. She read on, ‘Electra complex is the psychoanalytic theory that a female’s psychosexual development involves a sexual attachment to her father’. I think that’s all there needs to be said, she shrank into her chair, at least Daddy isn’t really my father. Thank god I find my real father repulsive at worst, bland at best.

The Inconsequential Child popped a coconut pork bun into her dim sum steamer and let out a squeal like a happy pig in mud. She only wanted to find some trivia about the Oral stage so she could insert some symbols into her latest piece, instead she found herself thinking, What can I do with the Anal and Phallic stages? 

Better still, will Daddy be proud of me*?

*probably not, he’ll call me a useless fucking idiot and tell me to go make something meaningful. if only he could see that everything i do meant something to me.

Meep.
:O